When insomnia takes over.

Drowning in my own sheets while my breath is fastened by my late night thoughts, its how insomnia lets me know that she’s arrived.

The infinite headache that begs to sleep is being punched by a strong and persistent anxiety. She never stops screaming every bad decision I made in my life.

Eyes closed. Trying to hide from the sight of darkness but being forced to open by the constant fighting pressure on each side of my head.

Numb body but hyperactive nerves. An endless battle between my fatigue and my anxiety. Unfortunately, there’s no winner. Both of them lose as they collide together – making an alliance to have even greater power gaining superiority over my body.

Aggressively moving from one side to the other. Not even an acceptable position is found. The perfect way of sleeping is a vanished dream -because I don’t sleep at all. 

©Claudia Hernández, 2016 

Instagram: claudiaher98

Facebook: writingclaud

Instagram (blog): writingclaud

56 thoughts on “When insomnia takes over.

  1. I liked this post then thought is liking the right move considering the content because that is so not like worthy….I have similar issues and battle with sleep and often lose….I can’t say I like it that much when the anxiety and frustration at being awake in the depths of night…totally empathise…even if I liked the post but don’t like the content….even if it’s brilliantly articulated…which it is…

    Did that make any sense at all? 🤔

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome…half way through I was thinking I so hope you don’t take umbrage!! Me too…but it’s a long term cyclic thing….good nights sleep leads to progressively poorer ones until exhaustion lands another proper sleep….not even sure why! But thank you for the kind words 🙃

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sadly, that is the reality of a lot of people and no one seems to find a reason for it. It sucks but let’s try and think that better sleep will come😊and don’t worry, I didn’t take umbrage haha!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Good…I had been working on the apology speech 🙃 I think the absolute reason might not exist and it’s probably a combination of factors leading to an outcome. I struggle to switch the mind off which is bad….I just watched a documentary on altzheimers suggesting deep sleep allowed CBS to wash the brain clear of proteins that can block synapses leading to dementia if they build up…all I think was …oooops 🤔

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I agree! It is very unlikely that a unique reason is the cause for lots of people to have insomnia or similar struggles. I haven’t watched that documentary but what you just said, made me think oooops too! 🙈

        Liked by 1 person

      5. It was a Horizon program I stumbled across then wish I hadn’t !!!! Mind you pretty positive looking research which has the potential to help a great many people….except insomniacs :\

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, sorry to hear this! I have had it for weeks, but it seems to become better now… I hope that you get to sleep well soon, life gets so much easier then. A great read, this one. So relatable. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A very relatable post! Though I don’t experience this very often( Thankfully!), but the few times I’ve fought this battle is enough for me to empathise with anyone fighting it daily!! Its like a battle you want to stop but have no control over. I don’t know if this’ll help, but for me normally talking does the thing, like you know just talking to someone and letting your mind focus on something else than the battle. And well, I hope it helps you and hope a great sound sleep tonight💕

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome! And I’d also like to add that whenever you need a person to talk yo when you’re not able to sleep, I’m always available! You can talk to me anytime!✌🏻️🌸

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I saw the title and got curious because I deal with insomnia and anxiety too. I started reading it and fell in love. This is so beautifully written. I never found the right words or way to describe my issues, but this is how I feel and what is going on. It’s sad that we have to deal with these issues in order to be able to write a beautiful piece (about it). I hope you’re doing better now, no long nights of being awake but long nights full of sleep. That’s what we all deserve.
    And I’m defenitly going to follow you, this post made me curious to what you have to say more ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow. Thank you so much for your kind words, I appreciate them a lot. I agree, it’s unfortunate that we have to go through these bad experiences in order to be able to write about them but it makes me happy to be able to share my writing and have people like you identify with it, because it shows that we are not alone. I hope you have long nights full of sleep too☺️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I feel the same, I started this blog to write down my thoughts like some sort of therapy, but also to share it with people who experience the same and won’t feel alone anymore. And every single person who reads, likes or comments makes me feel like I am doing a good thing and that it is usefull. So to you, please keep writing!!! And thank you ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Ordinary Girl and commented:
    This post made me feel like I wrote it, only that I’m not able to put how I feel and what happens to me in words or at least not as beautifully as she did. Oh, and please check her blog out, it has recently become one of my favourites! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello Claudia!!
    First thank you for the like on my blog : ) I appreciate it!!!!!..
    I can so relate to this..just to put it blunt insomnia sucks lol
    I loved how you put so much detail into this …’Well if you are ever up and need to talk I am probably here lol sad but true.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Down the dead white halls of a psychiatric hospital I wander at 4 in the morning, until zombified, I fall and hit my head on jagged bricks. Sleep in a nanosecond? Passing out for exhaustion? Or only a remember of that same blow 22 years earlier? Sleep does not come, anymore. Night ends at 2. But then I write, But those long battles through fainting and craving light. I thought I’d heard the last of them until my mother called again. And it began. Eternal warfare for an empty earth that is nothing worth. And the stitches never quite cover the wounds.

    Liked by 1 person

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